It's June!

I cannot believe it is June already. And I'm still unemployed. It's been over 4 months now and my phone is not exactly ringing off the hook, despite my constant search and sending applications and resumes. I applied for a job at an agency that would've been perfect, plus one of the HR people used to work at an agency I worked at years ago, so I felt like I had an "in". They say it's all about networking, right? Well, I applied online as instructed, plus I sent her a hard copy resume and a nice cover letter. Followed up with her yesterday and she said that since the account was out of Detroit (and I'm not sure if it was an automaker or another automotive-related product), spending was way down so they were going to do a reorg and fill the job from within.

This is the second time in a week I have gotten that answer. Now, I know that things can change unexpectedly, but I have worked at ad agencies my entire career and I know that positions are just not opened and posted for the heck of it. Why would they even post it on job boards if there was a chance of this happening or the possibility of filling it internally? I would hope that she was being honest with me and not just giving me a line. She'd have not reason to do that or to be dishonest about the position. If I didn't match the qualifications, I can handle that.

It is so frustrating, I cannot even wrap my head around this whole situation any more. Applying for jobs is very impersonal now...probably 95% of them are online applications and try as you might to follow up, it's rare you can speak to a live person to inquire about the position and if you're being considered.

So here I sit at the start of another work week....at my computer looking at Indeed.com, CareerBuilder, Monster and the like. And for what? To send yet another handful of apps or resumes and hear nothing back? Friends keep telling me that "it'll happen", to "be patient", "it's gonna take time", and (my favorite) "it'll happen when you least expect it". But what if it doesn't? My unemployment runs out in early August, and I'm hoping and praying I get an extension because I don't see an end to this for a long time.

My husband also reassures me but I think he's getting tired of my mood swings. I have little self esteem left and I used to be a pretty confident person. It's tough when you start to think that all the years of experience and hard work were for nothing and it does not mean anything to anyone else but you.

Ok, that was pretty horrible, wasn't it?

I definitely need an attitude change before this weekend, when we have our daughter's graduation party. We're expecting about 40 people and with my tears so close to the surface these days, if anyone asks me about the job hunt, I think I may just lose it.